This time, we'll be different
On heading into *That Time of Year*
✍🏽 October Writing Workshop is LIVE (5 spots left)! Grab your spot here (Sunday, October 23, 10am - 12pm PST). Join us for a special HALLOWEEN themed workshop. Come play….
✋🏽 Over in the SELF MADE community, October is devoted to all things BOUNDARIES. Boundaries can be tough to define, because they are are unique to each of us - the way I need to enact boundaries is different from how you do. Next week, we’ll explore how we keep boundaries with ourselves (!).
🌀 If you’re curious about what we’re up to, I invite you to click the button 👇🏽 below to subscribe to our SELF MADE community and/or you can read more about what we’re up to here.
❓Questions? Ask. I’m here and I’d love to hear from you.
“I shall become a master of this art only after a great deal of practice.”
Erich Fromm
🪐
Earlier this week, Substack sent me the above email. What an unexpected delight! I’ve never shown up for anything the way I do to this space, a project that started out as a way to pass time in Pandemia and has since grown into a community that gives me so much purpose, joy and meaning.
This is my favorite time of year—the shiver of time between summer turning to fall and the upcoming time change here in the States—and I’m doing my best to spend lots of time outside, climbing lots of hills and taking in the crisp views as much as possible before the dark comes and I begin the cozy-down rituals (which basically means giving myself permission to leave my house even less than usual).
I’m also aware of an old familiar tap, tap, tapping at my consciousness—that tentacle of anxiety currently doing its best to point out to me that we are heading into That Time of Year. You know what I mean, yes? I’m talking about the relentlessness of the period between, oh, Halloween, and what, January 15th?
Every single year, I say I’m going to do things differently. I’m going to go slow. I tell myself. I’m going to be thoughtful about gift giving, instead of throwing stuff together last minute. I’m going to craft and make art! I’m going to take time off and rest. I’m going to read, and drink hot chocolate or coconut-milk-and-honey chai.
What ends up happening is probably not something I have to spell out for any of you, but yeah, what happens is I don’t do any of those things. I get swept away by everything and then I get so resentful that I’m spending my time the opposite way of what I’d intended, bereft of the possibilities that actualizing my intentions might have offered.
I’m longing to end the year differently, and to start 2023 feeling rested and ready, aligned and awake. Mostly, this will mean putting a few things in place to ensure I don’t go full-tilt all the way through the end of the year (I’m guessing I’m not the only one who needs to calendarize taking care of myself)—scheduling days off, time in nature, and spending quality time with the people I love. I’ll continue to prioritize taking care of myself, and adding in a few structures for accountability.
I’m guessing you hold similar longings. Perhaps it’s a desire to do things differently this year, or to create your own traditions. Maybe you want to shore up your reserves, to end this year as gracefully and grounded as possible. Maybe the thought of the holidays bearing down on us is already stressing you out, and you’re dreaming of support.
I’m writing today to remind y’all that in addition to writing this newsletter I also work with people 1:1 as a coach. Much of the work I do is with people who are looking to renegotiate their relationships to alcohol and other substances—creating habits and routines, strategizing social events, setting boundaries with ourselves and others, building self-esteem and putting the Shame Monster in the backseat for good.
And, I work with folks who are also exploring life’s bigger questions:
What does it look like to deepen into values, purpose, and identity?
How might I partner with my life, rather than forever push against it?
What are the persistent beliefs I carry that hold me back from creating a life I design—rather than merely tolerate?
What would it be like to experience an expanded sense of joy, pleasure and fun as part of a practice, rather than things I just cross my fingers and hope arrive one day some day?
I have worked with hundreds of people, and facilitated group spaces for thousands more. I bring this experience to my coaching, along with an array of tools, practices, and resources that are a culmination of all of my experiments, reflections, and learnings over the past ten years.
If you are curious about what it would be like to work together, I invite you to sign up for an Alignment Session. This is a free, 30-minute session where we check in and chat and see how I might support you to move toward your goals and desires.
I invite you into what’s possible out of this relationship: A deep dive into shifting your way of being in the world toward that which that aligns with your core values and deepest desires. Discovering your own unique motivations and learning how to work with, rather than against, yourself as you move in the direction of creating a life that feels good more often than shitty. Moving through the world as a person who can trust themself to do what they say.
It would be an honor and a pleasure to support you and to explore life’s bigger questions together.
Learn more about 1:1 coaching and sign up for an Alignment Session.
Thank you, again and again, for your consideration, for your eyes on my words, and better yet, for your care, kindness, and friendship. I’m so grateful and endlessly delighted by it all.
Hearts beaming out of my eyes,
Dani
P.S. If you have any questions about whether 1:1 coaching is right for you, don't hesitate to reply to this email and ask. I'm happy to respond honestly.
From the archives - this time last year:
⭐️ Comfort Zones + Growth Edges: On Getting What You Asked For
SELF MADE is a rebellious recovery community that empowers you to liberate yourself from societal programming and boldly step into a life of your design. Posts are written by me, Dani Cirignano, founder, writer, coach, and recovery advocate based in San Francisco, CA.
Click here to learn about working with me 1:1. Check out the “About” page for more information about our online community and click any of the “Subscribe Now” buttons to become a subscriber👇🏽
You can also support this work by pressing the little heart button on these posts, sharing this newsletter with others, and letting me know how this newsletter helps you.
Thank you.