Quick reminder about two upcoming back-to-back events:
A Vision for the Future: Writing Toward 2021is a 2-hour writing workshop on Sunday, 12/20 at 10am PST. Expect futuristic and visionary prompts, a grounding and centering meditation, and, of course, gorgeous writing followed by always kind and generous feedback. I teach these workshops based on the Amherst Writer’s Method, which means there is no critical feedback - it’s a very encouraging, supportive, and generative approach and I promise it’s wonderful no matter how much writing experience you have. There’s a sliding scale, but if dollars are tight just say the word and I got you!
The next Sober From Bullshit 💘 Recovery Club is Monday, December 21 from 7-8:30pm, PST. This is an online recovery meeting where we check in, share stories and get support in sobriety. 12/21 happens to be WINTER SOLSTICE so we’re going to get hella cosmic, and the event is virtual, so you can join from wherever you are. If you’re on the fence but maybe need some hand holding please email me and I can answer all your questions and give you all of the pep talks. You do not need to be sober or have accumulated any sober time to participate—I promise we will love you exactly as you are. Register here.
Hope to see you all the time everywhere at everything.
greetings from Tater’s couch (ask a question for advice)
Buenos días mis amores. We made it to another Friday (only two more left this year—whoa).
This week I had a grand time hanging out with the idea of “frugal hedonism.” I linked to the podcast episode where I heard about it below (listen! listen!), and, here’s a quote from the coiner of said term:
The most common thing that I’ve heard people doing…is really questioning how much they rely on money to give them pleasure or relieve anguish. So the solution to feeling rubbish or having a bad day is to buy something. Because it’s only having something indulgent that you bought that will make that better. And a lot of people, no matter what their financial situation, find that questioning that really changes how they approach their concept of indulgence. Does indulgence have to mean adding something more? Can it be subtracting something?
This is another angle to a similar inquiry I’ve been in since last spring when I read about The Depth Experiment over on Raptitude, a favorite blog (thank you community member Jessy for the long ago reco!): namely, how do we go deeper into our lives? How do we work with what is already here to design our lives in such a way that we walk through our days feeling peace and ease more often than not?
Since most of us will be hunkering down this winter (I love, you; keep going), I wanted to put together a list of humble indulgences. What does this look like for you, right now, today, under these exact circumstances?
Let us know in the comments below 👇🏽 If enough of you respond, I’ll put together a list we can tape to the back of our eyelids when the stir-crazy sets in.
For me, it’s a 30-minute post lunch nap on Tater’s couch, and an evening chai with honey and full fat coconut milk…
Tell me yours?
xxoo, dani
⛓ ‘s, boo boos:
🐋 “It’s Time To Listen: Researchers capitalized on a summer without cruise ship traffic to hear how whales respond to a quieter underwater world.” I’ve been gaga for whales since I was a very little kid and hearing them communicate in this video made me cry, cry, cry. Can we retire cruise ships forevermore, please?
🤣 I haven’t laughed this hard or felt this much joy while reading in I don’t know how long:
🤝 There were lots of articles this week buzzing around about (straight) men and the gap between loneliness and connection. I happen to have many many men in my life that I love like crazy and I’m ALL FOR eradicating every outdated at best and dangerously harmful at worst aspects of masculinity:
On Loneliness and the Superficial Friendships of Men Before that fateful night twelve years ago, Paul behaved like a lot of men in his situation, drinking too much, working as late as possible, wallowing in all the ways that other people had let him down. When it came to his personal relationships—friendships, romances, and family—he was left staggered by the same two questions that haunt many men his age: Why is it harder to maintain these relationships than it was when I was younger? And why is it so hard to make new friends and romantic partnerships?
When a public-health approach isn’t producing the desired outcome, it’s time to try something different. Instead of yelling even louder about Christmas than about Thanksgiving, government officials, health professionals, and ordinary Americans alike might try this: Stop all the chastising. Remember that the public is fraying. And consider the possibility that when huge numbers of people indicate through their actions that seeing loved ones in person is nonnegotiable, they need practical ways to reduce risk that go beyond “Just say no.”
🎧 I hella highly recommend “Routines and Ruts” a podcast focusing on the “idea that creativity isn’t just something we do, but how we approach our lives.” This week I was pumping my fist wildly in the air while walking Tater and listening to this episode: On frugal hedonism and living more creatively with less. It’s SO good. That links to Spotify but you can listen to this podcast anywhere. Also, listening to the Australian host and guests had me realize every single podcast I listen to is American, and the subtle difference in perspective felt surprisingly softer and more gentle. Yes, yes please.
🌲 Last one, a bit of magic for you: The Social Life of Forests: Trees appear to communicate and cooperate through subterranean networks of fungi. What are they sharing with one another?
By analyzing the DNA in root tips and tracing the movement of molecules through underground conduits, Simard has discovered that fungal threads link nearly every tree in a forest — even trees of different species. Carbon, water, nutrients, alarm signals and hormones can pass from tree to tree through these subterranean circuits. Resources tend to flow from the oldest and biggest trees to the youngest and smallest. Chemical alarm signals generated by one tree prepare nearby trees for danger. Seedlings severed from the forest’s underground lifelines are much more likely to die than their networked counterparts. And if a tree is on the brink of death, it sometimes bequeaths a substantial share of its carbon to its neighbors.
Thank you so much for being a part of this community. If you like this newsletter, please consider leaving a comment, sending it to a friend or subscribing. Or email me and say hi, I’d love to hear from you.
Dani I love you so much. Your writing and the stuff you find on the interwebs both give me sooo much to think about! I've noticed recently that in my sobriety I often turn to buying something to relieve pain or discomfort, now that I don't use booze for that (Yay!). I'm going to listen to the frugal hedonism podcast asap. xoxo. ps I so want to do your next writing workshop but can't make that time - I am so there for the first one you do in the new year!
i totally forgot i had told you about Raptitude. yes! loved the Routines & Ruts podcast episode - i need to go back and listen to it a few more times as there was SO MUCH there to reallllllllllly listen in on, think about, and deep dive into. gah! Tater's couch looks like it gets some amazing sunbeams and i loved listening to those whales. didn't even think about the noise pollution from all the ships. makes me think about all the ways we disrupt so much being human and all.
Tater has a nicer couch than me. Just sayin. xo
haha! i’ll tell him you said so.
Dani I love you so much. Your writing and the stuff you find on the interwebs both give me sooo much to think about! I've noticed recently that in my sobriety I often turn to buying something to relieve pain or discomfort, now that I don't use booze for that (Yay!). I'm going to listen to the frugal hedonism podcast asap. xoxo. ps I so want to do your next writing workshop but can't make that time - I am so there for the first one you do in the new year!
i hear you. sometimes i just browse and put stuff in my cart (?).
also i love uuu too!
i totally forgot i had told you about Raptitude. yes! loved the Routines & Ruts podcast episode - i need to go back and listen to it a few more times as there was SO MUCH there to reallllllllllly listen in on, think about, and deep dive into. gah! Tater's couch looks like it gets some amazing sunbeams and i loved listening to those whales. didn't even think about the noise pollution from all the ships. makes me think about all the ways we disrupt so much being human and all.
i LOVE that blog. and i revisit his depth experiment posts all the time.