šš½Ā NextĀ Sober from Bullshit Recovery ClubĀ is March 15 (THIS Monday!). RegisterĀ here. šš½Ā March writing workshop is live,Ā and the theme isĀ āAnticipating Sunrises.ā RegisterĀ hereĀ (Sunday, 3/28, 10am - 12pm PST).
On and around my birthday, I worry that I or the people I love are going to die.
I try not to drive my car, or take any mode of transportation other than my feet. I like to stay close to home, and plan things that make me feel safe - snacks, books, bed. I invite nearby people to me, I call everyone, I low-grade panic if I donāt hear from certain folks by a certain time of day (WHY havenāt they called me yet!? Something must be wrong).
Itās also true that I love and trust my life and my urgent need for celebration walks in tandem with my fear.
Today I am getting a tattoo in honor of my grandmother. Iāve got my nails painted deep red to honor all my glamorous tĆas, and Iām heading out of town on a solo retreat, with a custom-ordered, whole cake to myself. I have signed out of all The Email Accounts. I am going to read and rest and think about This Time Last Year and plan for the next iteration of this here newsletter. I will eat all the snacks, and give Tater all the cuddles.
Love you all. Your eyes on my words are truly one of the greatest joys of my life.
xxoo x 1,000,000 + infinity,
tuya, Dani
***Sad to report: my emoji keyboard has suddenly stopped working! I hope the links are still enjoyable <3
Please most definitely donāt watch this if you donāt want to cry!
āBut as death, the last enemy, became real to my heart, I realized that my beliefs would have to become just as real to my heart, or I wouldnāt be able to get through the day. Theoretical ideas about Godās love and the future resurrection had to become life-gripping truths, or be discarded as useless.ā I so appreciated this ministerās existential inquiry when he was faced with his own death. Also feels aligned with the themes of this weekās essa <3 (if God is annoying or not a thing for you maybe skip this one!)
Addiction is Like A Volcano: āSecond-stage recovery often includes digging into what Carl Jung calledĀ shadow work: understanding the buried, unconscious motives that are driving your life.ā **Caveat with this one - while I liked so much of this article, can I just say that it drives me BONKERS when people make sweeping generalizations about the experience of addiction! Specifically, I absolutely do not subscribe to this writerās view of ārelapseā.
If you, dear reader, struggle as I do with relationships where you find yourself whittling your needs down to accepting only breadcrumbsā¦yeah. Read this one.
āWe already struggle in our work-life culture to gain time away for bereavement, operating in managed human resource systems that measure our minutes and grudgingly yield a day or two of paid leave in the immediate aftermath of a death, and then only for an immediate family member. These bureaucratic systems are not ready for the coming cycles of delayed mourning.ā Big sigh, bigger hug: āAmericans Arenāt Ready for the Coming Wave of Griefā
Instead of digging into the reasons for this state of affairs, instead treating it as your personal fucking responsibility to root out the problem and eradicate it, instead of redoubling your efforts to be more lovable and better, always approaching some infinite ideal of the whip-smart but easy-going professional with a body like a fuck doll, you need to take a good look at yourself and accept what you see.
āOne day quite soon, a bell will finally ring and we will rush into one anotherās arms, like so many schoolchildren. Our brains will fizz once again, and it will feel ā a word even Dunbar uses ā euphoric.ā This single, child-free, thirty-something woman fantasizes daily about being with my friends again.
Last, because itās springtime (not that I need an excuse): another sexy poem for you <3
Thank you to my dears Faith + Conor for some of these links!
Thank you so much for being a part of this community. If you like this newsletter, please consider leaving a comment, sending it to a friend or subscribing. Or email me and say hi, Iād love to hear from you.
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33 // from superstition to reclamation
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Upcoming events:
šš½Ā NextĀ Sober from Bullshit Recovery ClubĀ is March 15 (THIS Monday!). RegisterĀ here.
šš½Ā March writing workshop is live,Ā and the theme isĀ āAnticipating Sunrises.ā
RegisterĀ hereĀ (Sunday, 3/28, 10am - 12pm PST).
Friday!
On and around my birthday, I worry that I or the people I love are going to die.
I try not to drive my car, or take any mode of transportation other than my feet. I like to stay close to home, and plan things that make me feel safe - snacks, books, bed. I invite nearby people to me, I call everyone, I low-grade panic if I donāt hear from certain folks by a certain time of day (WHY havenāt they called me yet!? Something must be wrong).
Itās also true that I love and trust my life and my urgent need for celebration walks in tandem with my fear.
Today I am getting a tattoo in honor of my grandmother. Iāve got my nails painted deep red to honor all my glamorous tĆas, and Iām heading out of town on a solo retreat, with a custom-ordered, whole cake to myself. I have signed out of all The Email Accounts. I am going to read and rest and think about This Time Last Year and plan for the next iteration of this here newsletter. I will eat all the snacks, and give Tater all the cuddles.
Love you all. Your eyes on my words are truly one of the greatest joys of my life.
xxoo x 1,000,000 + infinity,
tuya,
Dani
***Sad to report: my emoji keyboard has suddenly stopped working! I hope the links are still enjoyable <3
Please most definitely donāt watch this if you donāt want to cry!
āBut as death, the last enemy, became real to my heart, I realized that my beliefs would have to become just as real to my heart, or I wouldnāt be able to get through the day. Theoretical ideas about Godās love and the future resurrection had to become life-gripping truths, or be discarded as useless.ā I so appreciated this ministerās existential inquiry when he was faced with his own death. Also feels aligned with the themes of this weekās essa <3 (if God is annoying or not a thing for you maybe skip this one!)
Addiction is Like A Volcano: āSecond-stage recovery often includes digging into what Carl Jung calledĀ shadow work: understanding the buried, unconscious motives that are driving your life.ā **Caveat with this one - while I liked so much of this article, can I just say that it drives me BONKERS when people make sweeping generalizations about the experience of addiction! Specifically, I absolutely do not subscribe to this writerās view of ārelapseā.
If you, dear reader, struggle as I do with relationships where you find yourself whittling your needs down to accepting only breadcrumbsā¦yeah. Read this one.
OH MY GOD humans are SO remarkable: How a Holocaust Survivor Showed Up for a Vaccine and Charmed a Hospital - Mira Rosenblatt, 97, stunned nurses with her tale of endurance and hardship.
āWe already struggle in our work-life culture to gain time away for bereavement, operating in managed human resource systems that measure our minutes and grudgingly yield a day or two of paid leave in the immediate aftermath of a death, and then only for an immediate family member. These bureaucratic systems are not ready for the coming cycles of delayed mourning.ā Big sigh, bigger hug: āAmericans Arenāt Ready for the Coming Wave of Griefā
Some oro solido from the Ask Polly archive:
My Son Is Bullying His Asian Classmate About the Pandemic - ohhhh this advice.
āOne day quite soon, a bell will finally ring and we will rush into one anotherās arms, like so many schoolchildren. Our brains will fizz once again, and it will feel ā a word even Dunbar uses ā euphoric.ā This single, child-free, thirty-something woman fantasizes daily about being with my friends again.
Last, because itās springtime (not that I need an excuse): another sexy poem for you <3
Thank you to my dears Faith + Conor for some of these links!
Thank you so much for being a part of this community. If you like this newsletter, please consider leaving a comment, sending it to a friend or subscribing. Or email me and say hi, Iād love to hear from you.