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David's avatar

Boundaries: I had an online transaction where I sent someone something and he didn't think it was working. He said something like "you should be smart enough to know...[that it didn't work]" and I replied that I would happily refund his money and that he should keep his opinion of my intelligence to himself. He wrote back immediately, apologized for what he said, THEN replied again and said it had been his fault and it actually worked. Was I relieved not have refunded his money? Not as much as I was relieved that I had stood up to someone's misguided anger with calm and grace.

Christmas music: my inner soundtrack, year-round, is Christmas music. I'm not kidding. I can't help it. I don't choose the subconscious playlist (but I do like it). We don't even play it in our house except when we trim the tree (and we don't even have a tree every year). Today I was at a grocery store buying Topo Chico (no lie) and they were playing some awful cover of "River" by Joni Mitchell, which is one of those songs that's like "why would anyone cover that? It's already perfect!" but I guess it's a Christmas song and someone needed to squeeze some seasonal cash out of it.

Every few years we do a Yankee gift swap. Look it up. You can do it at a park, socially distanced, and still have an amazing time with your friends. The best gift I ever brought? A bucket. No lie. It was the most popular gift. Everyone wanted it. A metal bucket with a handle. Kristen got it, so it's still in the family. We keep gloves in it, by the door. Get a bucket. Everyone will want it.

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Dani Cirignano's avatar

"Was I relieved not have refunded his money? Not as much as I was relieved that I had stood up to someone's misguided anger with calm and grace." SO good, David! And such a helpful, clear example of a boundary in action. Sometimes boundary stuff still feels murky and hard to concretize.

Yankee swap sounds fun! And every since I read your comment I've been thinking of all the ways that yes, having a bucket laying around would be so useful:)

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Christine McLean's avatar

I love the the holidays this year because I am feeling so un rushed. We did not send out cards but I have been spending more time picking out meaningful gifts. I am actually enjoying that part. Focusing on lots of local shops. I sent two sisters gifts for the first time in years. This year it was important to decorate the tree and the house to keep the spirits up for my kids. Every day seems the same. We also celebrate Hanukkah and latkes are a must every year. Tomorrow I am baking cookies. Nutballs in powder sugar, that is our one constant every year. I need to start playing some more Christmas music, but I love all the old stuff.... I agree less Christmas music is better.

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Dani Cirignano's avatar

aww hey friend. "Unrushed" just feels good in my body. So sweet. And holy hell, how wonderful that you sent gifts to your sisters! I'm more financially stable this year than I've been in many many years and I've been finding thoughtful gift giving to be such a total joy.

I'm not a baker but if you wanted to beam me over some nutballs I would HAPPILY eat them ;) all my love to you x

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