Pandemic Wednesdays

Shelter in Place, Day 44 (I think?)

Once, there were hugs and kisses. There was pushing elevator buttons and turning doorknobs and clicking lights on-and-off on autopilot. There were slow perusals of produce, touching all the avocados to choose the best one. People sneezing and spitting elicited an eye roll instead of a duck and roll. There was passing the pint of ice cream, two mouths sharing the same spoon.

There was a time when online dating lead to fluttery, IRL heartbeats. There were pheromones! There was flirting, fucking, fantasizing. Once, we used to shave our pits, wax our bits. There was makeup and jeans and shoes that made you taller than you were, and deodorant and tweezers and a different sort of face-mask, and manicures and pedicures and sitting in a chair while one of your favorite people cut your hair.

Once, we had to make time. There was space to miss people you already loved, lived with. There were play dates, date nights. There were alarm clocks, offices, schools, schedules. There were memberships, and classes, and appointments. During the before time, there was very little time.

Once, there was a horizon: Concerts, birthdays, reunions, holidays, festivals, parties, vacations, competitions, graduations, weddings, promotions. It was there, out windows of airplanes. Up ahead, on long stretches of highway.

Remember sitting around tables? Shutting down restaurants, closing down bars? You could linger. It was so nice. We didn’t understand.

In the before time, there were proper goodbyes. There were bedside vigils. There were tears wiped away by the hands of our beloveds.

Speaking of hands. Hands used to be welcome. Hands interlaced with other hands, hands on cheeks, hands on barbells, hands kneading muscles, hands tracing spines of books in bookshops, hands wrapped around paper cups in favorite cafes, dropping cash into tip jars, hands chasing instinct, palms facing the sky, hands reaching out, receptive, back when we had no idea the blessing it was to catch each other.