I want to be who I am, going where I’m going, all over again.
Self Made's Life Design Skill Session is this Wednesday; and so is a *very special* in-person local event...
Hello + happy Tuesday!
Here are this week’s events:
✨ Join me tomorrow for Self Made’s *first* monthly Life Design Skill Session (free)
January’s topic is Establishing a BASELINE:
→ Do you ever do the thing where you swear to yourself you’re going to begin a daily practice (say, meditation, or journaling, or <fill in the blank>), fall short of your promise, and then rip yourself apart for once again not keeping your word?
→ I’m going to teach the #1 most fundamental tool I share with all of my clients (and have tested and iterated on dozens of times in my own life for the past seven years).
→ This tool will help you learn to listen for what would *actually* be supportive, instead of holding yourself to a standard of perfection you will never meet…and then dropping into the failure/self-flagellation loop that ultimately is the antithesis of what we seek with self care/daily practice.
→ Learning to listen for what would *actually* be supportive to you—a unique individual with unique needs, fluctuating energy levels, and an animal body—instead of listening to what someone or something outside of yourself is convincing you would be supportive, is a first step in expanding self-trust.
→ All are welcome!
→ There will be a recording - so please sign up even if you can’t make it live. (Wednesday, 1/15, 9am-10am PST, FREE)
NEXT UP: A *very special* in-person collaboration with my best friend and favorite co-conspirator, Jenny Dawn Morgan from Oh Happy Dawn Photography.
Join us for a fun portrait party: A Taylor Swift inspired photo shoot!
We will be gathering at New Rev Media Studio in the Dogpatch for an evening of fun, food, and portraits!
Come get a "Childless Cat Lady" portrait before inauguration day. Don't have a pet? No worries! We'll have a stand-in ready for those who need one (a very life-like cat will be present).
Everyone is welcome - so invite your friends! Cat ladies, dog dads, pet parents of all kinds. This is about community, creativity, and celebrating our collective power.
What's included:
- Professional portrait of you + your pet (or our life-like cat)
- One edited digital photo
- Snacks & excellent company
- A chance to gather with community
Details:
New Rev Media Studio, SF
Jan 15, 2025
5-8pm
$40
✍🏽 BEGIN ANEW: Self Made’s first writing workshop of 2025 is LIVE.
Let's turn the page on a new year with a crew of warm, friendly, creative comrades. Now more than ever, the world needs is our unique perspective and wild imaginations. Let's write. (January 26th, 2025 | 10am-12pm PST | $44)
Now onto the goods:
Today’s inspiration:
The Problem with Travel
Every time I’m in an airport,
I think I should drastically
change my life: Kill the kid stuff,
start to act my numbers, set fire
to the clutter and creep below
the radar like an escaped canine
sneaking along the fence line.
I’d be cable-knitted to the hilt,
beautiful beyond buying, believe
in the maker and fix my problems
with prayer and property.
Then, I think of you, home
with the dog, the field full
of purple pop-ups—we’re small
and flawed, but I want to be
who I am, going where
I’m going, all over again.~Ada Limón
Early January is the pause after an exhale. It’s still and empty, expectant and full of potential. It’s a let-go, an ending. It’s a hollowing out, a making space before filling back up and carrying on. It’s humble, and less showy than it’s chest-puffing-spine-straightening-shoulders-back-inducing counterpart. It’s a hugging in, it’s a midline squeeze. It’s a priority revealer. If the inhale is a drawing in of life, the exhale is a death, which is why hanging out in the pause afterward is so uncomfortable. It provokes a quiet chaos, it signals the system to attention, it slows time all the way down.
In my yoga training, we were taught that each human has a set number of breaths they are given over their lifespan. As such, the longer the breath, the longer the life. We can extend our lives by expanding our capacity to breathe deep. And my mind turns toward lungs, and N95’s; and how the breath tightens and constricts exactly in those moments where some depth and space and slowness are needed most; how, after kicking off the year with so much loss, already full of so much death and grief, I am sick of this pause, I am aching for more life.
I started this newsletter on April 4th, 2020, almost three weeks into San Francisco’s first shelter-in-place order. One of the themes that has emerged and stayed close ever since is the persistent, over-and-over-and-over erasure of horizons. And here we are again, at a time typically defined by horizon scanning, by projecting forward, by dreaming up the future or scheduling it down onto a calendar or some sweet spot combination of both, on into February, Q2, beyond. Even if you’re one of those people who doesn’t “do” resolutions, it’s impossible not to imagine how this year, we’ll be different. This time, we’ll do better: we’ll forgive our fathers and love our children in a way that they will never question and we’ll floss on the regular for real this time and we’ll start writing or quilting or singing again, and yeah, maybe we’ll take up running or lifting weights or hiking and guess what, by doing so, we’ll expand our capacity to breathe, the latter of which maybe isn’t at the forefront of our consciousness but is an incidental perk which maybe isn’t incidental at all, maybe it’s absolutely essential that we all learn how to breathe more deeply, we all do whatever it takes to stay right here, full of as much life as possible.
A few weeks ago my closest friends all happened to be away over the weekend, and the weather was nasty, and there’s of course not much to do, so I hunkered down and made my way through some projects, films, books; I cuddled with Tater and watered the plants; I made coffee, coffee, chai. And it was Saturday afternoon and the sun was going down and suddenly this feeling of contentment swept over me and I cried a little realizing, my god, this is what it’s like to enjoy your own company.
So we stay home with the dog a little longer.
I’m still thinking forward into 2025. I picked a word for the season (I can’t project forward an entire year anymore), as like, a theme, and I’ve already set up my budget for January and filled out my calendar down to my lunch breaks like a nerd. And, if these times we’re living through have taught me anything, it’s to not rush through the exhale. The exhale is a chance to ground into our bodies the physical sensation of letting go. So the next time something disappears from the horizon (and we know it will), I can quiet down instead of constrict. I can partner, instead of push. I can slow time down; I can face life with my eyes open.
And I’m sitting here cold, staring out the window at the full moon in Cancer (which happens to be my moon), and I’m fantasizing about warm, sandy beaches, and minimal clothing, and fresh coconuts, and then I’m back in the pause after the exhale, and yes, it’s uncomfortable. I am hollowed out, and what is pressing its way in are not goals and intentions and trips and milestones and celebrations, but the tenderness of gratitude, for our smallness and flaws, for all it took to get us here, yes, through this year, but through all the years before, too, that have us looking together at a future that is not written, that has us scared and uncomfortable but also earnest and reaching, despite our best efforts, despite knowing better. We can’t help ourselves; the inhale is on it’s way.
One last thing: I’d like to sincerely thank you - yes, you - for your eyes on my words in 2024. Thank you from the tips of my fingers and toes to the edges of every last of my hair follicles for reading, for every time you clicked the little heart icon at the top of the posts, for every comment and email. Being here with you all has given me purpose and focus this year and I am a bit verklempt with emotion just thinking about it. Thank you, thank you, and as always, I’m here. Love you all and I hope to see you at one of Self Made’s upcoming events (Inaugural Life Design Skill Session! A fun Taylor Swift inspired portrait party!)
If you read this far:
Thank you! and—
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At SELF MADE, the game is to uncover your essential self so you can design a rebellious, bold, on-purpose life that is an expression of who you really are and what you really want. Posts are written by me, Dani Cirignano, writer, Integral Coach, and recovery guide based in San Francisco, CA.
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